For those of you who knew how unmotivated I was to go Easter shopping, I finally went out and got it done. I tend to put too much stress on myself to try to make everything perfect. I search for the perfect baskets and the perfect fillers. Nothing seems right this year. It isn't perfect.
I have wonderful childhood memories of Easter morning. The Easter Bunny would fill my large decorated papier mache Easter egg with all sorts of yummy treats. There would be Peeps and jelly beans and little toys all set out on the coffee table for me each year. My favorite Easter gift of all time was Sea Wees. In case you were not a little girl in the 80s, these were little mermaid bath toys that came with a lily pad sponge. a mer-baby, and a little pet. I was so surprised when I woke up on Easter morning and there were two Sea Wees (a blue one and an orange one) waiting for me next to my candy filled egg. I felt so special that year. I want my kids to wake up on Easter morning and feel that same way.
On my journey to create this perfect Easter basket, my excitement has waned. Why am I am trying to attain a unobtainable perfection? This perfect Easter basket exists only in my fantasy. My kids are excited by the prospect of candy alone. Bubbles and chalk are just icing on the cake.
Since losing the boys, Easter has been my hardest holiday. I am not sure why my heart feels so heavy at this time of year. Last Easter, I wrote about my feelings: http://www.beyondthecrib.com/content/its-beginning-feel-easter.
As you can see, I am still learning how to live my new normal. Striving to make everything perfect tomorrow is how I am coping this year. Please be patient with me.