I’m Not The Biggest Loser

posted in: Blog | 0

There was a time when I was an "overweight" size 10. I was so pleased to be able to squeeze my behind into a pair of slim fit size 10s from the Gap. I put myself on every diet advertised in the popular fashion magazines. In the high school cafeteria I would pull a slightly chilled Slim Fast shake out of my brown paper lunch bag and drink it down followed by a few swigs of diet Coke. My weight went up and down more times than a yo-yo, but I could always fit into those size 10s. My goal was always to get smaller.

Off to college I went, still a size 10. I lived in the dorm and was on the meal plan. I can't say we ate the healthiest of foods, but I always had a salad…and a frozen yogurt. One day, while on line to get a plate of tricolored tortellini, I complained about my weight. My friend, not meaning to make me feel bad, motioned to my tray and told me that I shouldn't be eating what was there. I don't think I let one noodle pass through my lips that night.

It was then that I started feeling self conscious about letting people see what I was eating. I started sneaking food. If I knew my roommates were out, I would go to the cafeteria and buy a pepperoni roll and cookies, which I would inhale. Then, I would force it out of my body before I even had a chance to digest it. I can't say I lost any weight, but I didn't gain any, and I still was able to eat whatever I wanted. There wasn't anymore guilt. I could, and did, eat a pint of ice cream, but the calories didn't count. I was so proud of myself. I thought I had figured out the secret. On and off for about a year, I continued, but I started doing it less and less.

Those size 10 jeans were starting to feel a little snug, so I joined Jenny Craig, where I lost over 20 pounds. After that, I started seeing a nutritionist and exercising regularly . Before I knew it, I was out of my 10s and getting smaller and smaller. Finally, I did figure out the secret – healthy eating paired with exercise.

With my first pregnancy, I thought I could eat whatever I wanted. As soon as those double lines appeared, I was buying M&Ms and chips and soda. Since I didn't give birth to an 86 pound baby, I was stuck with a lot of weight to lose.

I hadn't lost nearly enough of it before I became pregnant again, and again, and again…

Now, I wish I could have those size 10s back.

Over a month ago, I filled out an application for The Biggest Loser. I figured if anyone could help me, they could. I completed the first step, but I didn't have the time to make a video and finish the second step. For the first time in a long time, I saw myself succeeding. Although, I could probably do without parading around in shorts and a sports bra on national TV.

Since January I have adopted healthier eating habits, and I have the best intentions to exercise. At a little over 10 pounds down and I've hit a plateau. My doctor told me that I am not eating enough calories and storing what I do eat. I find it hard to believe I am not eating enough, but I know for a fact that I am not exercising enough. She wants me to walk at least three days a week, without kids, so I can keep up a faster pace.

I thought I needed a trainer to yell at me and keep me motivated. I know that the only thing I need is inside of me already.

Although, if you see me out walking, put on your best Jillian voice and tell me to walk faster…further…stronger. It couldn't hurt.

 

 

 

 

Follow Jennifer Swartvagher:

Latest posts from

Leave a Reply